


Renditions of You

by stellarparallax



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But technically it's the same character, Casually tags everything that remotely means "sad", Comfort/Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Kuron is Shiro (Voltron)'s Clone, Kuron is renamed to Ryou at the end, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 12:03:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarparallax/pseuds/stellarparallax
Summary: Keith's near-death encounter on Naxzela left him with a lot to think about, primarily about the man who appeared and claimed to be Takashi Shirogane. Will he find out the truth about Shiro's disappearance following their fight with Zarkon? Will the truth matter?





	Renditions of You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Foxberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxberry/gifts).



> This is my Sheithlentines Gift for Foxberry or @particlebarrier on twitter!
> 
> Prompt: Keith on BOM mission, finds the real Shiro locked up by druids
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day! I'm sorry this is so late;; I hope you like it!!

The paladins of Voltron had been trying to contact him, but Keith was refusing their calls. Even Shiro’s. He only responded to Kolivan, but that was out of necessity more than anything else since he was bringing Keith meals. See, Keith was under a self-imposed quarantine in his room at the Blade of Marmora’s base; he didn’t want to be around anyone, not so soon after that near-death experience.

Nearly two weeks later, Keith was ready to leave his room. Keith was nearly blinded as he stepped into the hallway’s bright artificial lights, forcing him to shield his eyes. Had he really been in there for so long? 

The Marmorites kept their distance, maybe to avoid overwhelming him. Keith couldn’t be sure if it was their own doing or if they were acting on orders from Kolivan. Either way, he was grateful for the space they granted him. 

The Castle of Lions afforded no mercies like these, and Keith knew that none of the Marmorites would blame him if he chose not to attend the meeting scheduled with Lotor and the coalition. But he didn’t want his old teammates to think anything was wrong, or know what he’d tried to do, so he would go and keep it that way.

Stepping into the aircraft with Kolivan and Tonera, he took a deep breath. He wasn’t the pilot this time. 

“It’s good to have you back on the team, Keith,” Tonera said gently.

“It’s good to be back.”

 

* * *

 

Silence filled the room when Keith stepped in. Matt shot him a concerned look from across the room, but he ignored it and took a deep breath, setting his jaw. He would get through this meeting calmly, even if it took the life out of him.

Distantly, he heard the meeting take place. He understood the words individually, but he couldn’t process them together. But Kolivan was sure to call a meeting with the Marmorites to debrief those who weren’t able to attend the meeting. Keith just had to hold it together.

In what felt like no time at all, the meeting ended. Keith thought he’d understood that Lotor would be moving from the Castle of Lions, the Blade of Marmora, and the Rebel Alliance to see how they operated and update their information on the Galra. In return, they would grant him immunity and offer him their protection.

Kolivan and Tonera stood, preparing to leave the room, and Keith followed suit. He followed their path to the door, but before he could make it, someone grabbed his arm.

“Kolivan, may I borrow Keith for a while? You can leave with Tonera first and I’ll send him back to the Blade with my ship later,” Matt said.

Kolivan scanned Keith’s face, trying to discern a response from him. Keith nodded, and he said, “I suppose that would be fine. Please send him back to us as soon as possible. We have important matters to discuss.”

The matter settled, Kolivan and Tonera left, leaving Keith in the meeting room with his old teammates.

“Keith, are you alright?” Matt asked, voice softening.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I know what you tried to do. If you need to talk--”

“I don’t need to talk,” he said, unblinking.

“Let me help you,” Matt said, almost begging, “There is no way you can possibly be okay.”

“Matt, I’m grateful that you’re trying to help, really. I just don’t need it,” Keith said wriggling his arm out of Matt’s grip and continuing towards the door.

Matt sighed and announced, loud enough for the whole room to hear, “Keith tried to crash his own ship into the bomb on Naxzela so that the rest of you could escape.”

Keith froze. No- did that really just happen? Slowly, he turned to face the others and gauge their reactions. He was met with looks of horror. Keith wanted to dash through the door, or run out of an airlock with his suit on, or maybe just clip through the floor. Anything but this.

“Is that true?” Shiro asked, breaking the silence.

“Shiro--” he tried to say something, anything, but Shiro kept talking.

“Did you really do that to save us?” He took a step towards Keith, then another, crossing the room too fast. Or maybe Keith was just stuck.

“I--”

Then Shiro was in front of him. Up close, Keith could see the tears glistening in his eyes.“I could have lost you,” he said. “I could have... I could have lost everything.”

“Shiro, I--”

“You idiot.”

Shiro held Keith by the biceps, holding him tight, as if he might disappear again. For a moment, Keith thought he could see the veins standing out of Shiro’s arm. But Shiro pulled him close, closer, closest, until his lips were pressed firmly against Keith’s.

In the past, their kisses had always been tender and gentle, as if they were hesitant to show each other the extent of their feelings. This was different; Shiro was different. 

If any part of Shiro was hesitating, it was overwhelmed by his pure, unbridled longing. Keith pulled back, trembling and gasping for air. He looked at Shiro through heavy-lidded eyes and whispered, “I have to go.”

Shiro’s face crumpled into something indescribable. “No…”

“I’ll see you soon, Shiro,” he said, taking Shiro’s right hand in his own and pressing a kiss to his metal knuckles, careful not to catch his own flesh in the mechanical grooves. Keeping his eyes down, Keith stepped away, but his grip on Shiro’s hand lingered until they were forced to let go by the distance between them.

Keith left the room and shut the door behind him. Sucking in a lungful of air, he added, “If that’s who you really are.”

 

* * *

 

Keith returned to the Castle of Lions for an impromptu meeting. Landing in the familiar hangar left him feeling nostalgic, but all that was nothing compared to what he felt seeing Shiro waiting for him with worry written across his face.Their eyes met, and Keith’s breath hitched.

He leaped from his ship’s exit and ran to Shiro, throwing his arms around his neck. Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith, clinging to him like a plank in the middle of turbulent waters.

“Keith…” Shiro said his name like he’d found a missing part of himself.

“Okay, okay, we need to get to the meeting room,” Keith said, laughing into Shiro’s neck.

“There’s no meeting,” Shiro said. “I lied.”

Keith let go of Shiro’s neck and stepped back. “What?”

“I wanted to see you. I didn’t know how else to get you back here. I…” he hesitated. “I told Kolivan the truth beforehand, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Keith’s gazed softened. “You should have just told me. I would have come back.”

“Would you?”

Keith wasn’t sure what he’d do. Shaking off the question, he continued, “I’m sorry that I keep--”

“Keith, back when--” Shiro choked on his words, and he pursed his lips, gathering himself. “Back when I was… captive… I didn’t have a lot of clear memories. It all just kind of blurred together. Everything but you.” For a moment there was silence. “If I could see you again, I could survive anything,” Shiro said softly, carefully.

What did you say to something like that?

“I don’t ask for a lot in life. Will you let me be selfish for once?” Shiro asked, and Keith’s chest felt tight. “Please, stay with me.”

Keith shook his head. Resisted. “The Blades need me, Shiro.”

“I need you.”

He couldn’t. “Voltron will be fine without me.”

“I’m not,” Shiro said, pleading.

He needed a way out; he couldn’t do this, couldn’t be what Shiro needed. “What about...” Keith stopped himself. What about what? There was nothing to talk about.

“When you made your decision to join the Blade of Marmora full-time, I didn’t stop you. I respected your decision. But that’s- that’s not what I want. Keith,  _ please _ . I can’t lead Voltron alone.”

A way out. Anything. “I can’t. I have a mission with Lotor soon.” A lie.

“When?” Shiro asked.

“Two weeks.”

“Stay. Until then, stay.” It sounded like Shiro was breaking, and it was Keith’s fault.

 

* * *

 

“Keith, what are you doing? If you suspect him, why are you not keeping your distance?” Kolivan asked, voice laced with deep concern.

“You know the relationship I had with Shiro,” Keith said.

Kolivan grunted. “If he is a sleeper agent, this  _ dalliance _ will only make things more difficult. This will cloud your judgement, Keith”

“He felt like him,” Keith said, voice strained.

“You didn’t.” Kolivan’s eyes widened. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

Keith said nothing.

“I should have kept a closer watch on you. Please forgive me for failing you as a leader and a mentor.” Kolivan rubbed his eyes and began to pace.

“I could be wrong,” Keith said. “Shiro might’ve just changed. Or maybe it’s me.” He paused. “Maybe I’ve changed.”

“What does your gut say?”

Keith hesitated. “I don’t know.”

Sighing, Kolivan stopped pacing. “Until you’re sure, you have to be careful around him.” He held up a finger, stopping Keith from protesting. “You  _ have to. _ There is no denying that each time he has been privy to intel regarding our missions that we have found decoys. We can’t take any more risks and lose more Blades. I know you care for him, but sparing him from this pain is not worth the fate of the universe.”

He was wrong. Nothing was worth Shiro’s pain.

“Get ready for your mision, Keith. Lotor will be waiting for you in the armoury,” Kolivan said, dismissal clear in his voice.

There was nothing more to say. Consequences would have to wait; Keith was to go with Lotor to Proditor.

On a routine security check, Tonera had caught wind of a potential leak from a rebel base to a third party contact. Anywhere else and it would have been written off as a bug and been re-coded for monitoring. Trouble was, Proditor was in the same system as Beta Traz. 

Keith had been selected for this mission due to his relative anonymity in the system. His name was known, but no more than Lotor’s. Unless there were Galra they’d run into before, there was little chance of their being recognized. 

Keith met up with Lotor in the armory and looked him over. Lotor was dressed in the casual attire of Proditor’s citizens, long hair tied back. He’d altered his skin into something darker, like Allura’s. The resemblance was uncanny.

“Nervous?” Lotor asked, passing Keith a set of clothes similar to his own.

“Yeah. You?”

“Of course not.” Lotor smirked.

 

* * *

 

With a touch of make-up and the traditional garb of Proditor, Keith managed to pass as a nondescript native of the planet. It was easy for Lotor to blend in physically, but his mannerisms might make it a little too obvious that he was descended from royalty. The mission was definitely risky. The only thing that Keith was completely certain of was that they would have to watch each other’s back if they wanted any chance at all of getting out of there alive. 

The whole idea of the coalition, as Keith has argued with Shiro time and time again, had one fatal vulnerability -- it depended heavily on Voltron winning battles. The allies were called to fight on the belief that Voltron would be capable of protecting them when it came down to it. If Voltron lost, their allies would lose faith in Voltron and the coalition would collapse. Their allies hadn’t chosen to join the coalition because they wanted to stand up to their oppressors. They’d chosen the coalition because they thought that it was the side that would win. They were exhausted of the war and had joined the side that could bring it to an end. If push came to shove, they would leave the coalition in a heartbeat.  

That was why, even on a planet home to citizens pledging their undying loyalty to the coalition, Keith was on edge.

Proditor wasn’t too different from Earth. Sure, there weren’t skyscrapers everywhere he looked, but there was order, culture, and civilisation. Her inhabitants didn’t look too different from humans, either. Looking around and basking in the environment around him, Keith couldn’t help but miss home.

He thought of his desert shack. He’d been raised there. He’d left to enrolled in the Galaxy Garrison, but he’d returned after his eventual expulsion. It was where he’d been when he’d found Shiro again. There were many memories from that place he wanted to relive, and many more that he wanted to ignore entirely.

Lotor shook him gently. “Keith?” 

Keith tried to maintain his composure, but he couldn’t hide his flinch, or the way he gasped. 

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking.”

Lotor hummed softly. “Just make sure that you don’t space out when we’re… busy,” he said, lifting an eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

With his palm against the small of his back, Lotor guided Keith towards the food stalls lining the streets. It was a good thing that Lotor had been schooled in the customs and cuisines from other planets, because Keith was not in the mental state to improvise. All of the food options looked like a blur to him and all he really hoped for was that Lotor would help him pick something that was somewhat palatable. 

 

* * *

 

“I can’t get anything. What about you?”

“Nothing so far, keep going.”

They had gotten in on the pretense of wanting to speak to the mayor, then knocked out everyone who suspected them until they reached their destination. Keith’s fingers tapped furiously on the control panel. He had never been particularly good at hacking, but he had picked up a thing or two from the time he spent with Regris. He understood the logic of programming, but there was still a lot that he had to learn. He started to worry about whether his inexperience would inevitably lead to mission failure.

“I’ve got it,” said Lotor.

Keith turned to look at the screen of the computer that Lotor had been working on and watched as it lit up. Then, the log of data input and output appeared on the screen. Lotor scrolled down the list until he found the specific case that they had been sent to look into. Lotor clicked on it, revealing the information that was hidden from the main list.

“Output to…” Keith’s face paled, “Beta Traz.”

“They would be onto us by now. We have to go!” Lotor said quickly.

Lotor programmed the control panel to self-destruct, then they ran out of the room. This time instead of fighting the guards, they avoided them altogether, not having time to spare. 

“Kolivan,” Keith said into his communicator, “The information was sent to Beta Traz. We need to go.”

“They can detect communication devices at Beta Traz now. If we go there, we need to cut off our contact with the Blade of Marmora!”

“I know. It’s the only way we can find out what the Galra is doing with that information.”

“... Okay, I’ve docked my ship in the planet right next to Proditor. Get here and we’ll decide our next course of action.”

“Fair enough,” Keith said, right before kicking a guard that tried to attack Lotor in the face. 

Keith ducked as Lotor swiped his sword above him, cutting through another guard. Lotor held out a hand for Keith to take. Keith pulled at it, and Lotor pulled back harder, flinging Keith at five guards, knocking them out. They had taken out everyone in the area, but the sound of footsteps growing louder wasn’t any indication that they were safe yet. Keith ran towards the exit, pulling Lotor along with him.

“We need to defe—” Lotor began.

“NO WE DO NOT!” Keith yelled as he tightened his hand around Lotor’s forearm.

“Okay, okay, let me go so I can run!”

As soon as he took his hand off Lotor’s arm, Keith started unbuttoning his outfit and flung it off, revealing his Blade of Marmora suit underneath. Lotor did the same, as well as pulled an elastic band off his wrist to tie his hair into a ponytail. Keith tapped twice on the communicator on his wrist while Lotor retrieved an explosive that had been strapped onto his belt.

“Ready?” Keith shouted.

“Always!”

Lotor pulled the pin off the explosive and threw it at the exit that had been sealed off. They ran through the hole in the wall and jumped into the entrance of their ship that had just arrived in time for them to leave on.

They closed the entrance, then took their respective seats in the cockpit — Keith as the pilot and Lotor at the controls for the weapons. They moved quickly, making their way to rendezvous with Kolivan.

“Kolivan? We’re on our way.”

“Ready on your command, Keith.”

The Proditorian planes were in hot pursuit. With reload intervals of five seconds, the planes were shooting at Keith and Lotor from all directions, making it very difficult for them to escape. Out of the five planes that were after them, Lotor had managed to gun down two. The last three were obviously flown by much more experienced pilots and were able to perform quite a number of defensive maneuvers to avoid Lotor’s shots. Keith gritted his teeth in frustration.

Lotor took aim of one of them, only for his shots to get evaded by the plane rolling to the side. Lotor clicked his tongue impatiently as he lined up the sight to aim at another plane. The pilot of that one wasn’t quick enough and took the attack head-on, causing the plane to spiral down before bursting into flames mid-air. Lotor exhaled forcefully.

“Kolivan, we’re almost there. There’s been a change of plan. Be ready to take off as soon as I tell you to.”

Lotor held his breath as he made a gaping hole in the wing of one of the remaining planes. The plane spun out of control and crashed into a nearby building. Now, they had one plane left to deal with. He slowly exhaled.

“I need to recharge, Keith. This last one’s on you.”

“Got it.”

Keith narrowed his eyes, his focus growing stronger. He looked up at the monitors and observed how the last plane was moving. The plane was headed straight for them to get a clear shot, and was only inching closer and closer. Keith forced himself to calm down as he realised what exactly he had to do. 

“Should I start praying?” Lotor asked.

“Shut up and trust me. And keep the gun pointing forward.”

Keith jerked the steering wheel, rolling sharply out of their pursuer’s route. He took a deep breath, then slammed down the controls for the elevator pressure, then the rudder. The plane rolled alongside the other, slowing down enough to force an overshoot. The other pilot hadn’t been expecting Keith to pull that stunt. The hunter had become the hunted.

“LOTOR!”

Lotor pulled the trigger.

The bullets exploded out of the machine gun, headed straight for the enemy plane. They ripped through the body, leaving soot and dust in their wake. Keith’s eyes widened and his breath hitched. He dodged the plane and increased the acceleration. As he headed towards Kolivan’s location, he kept one eye on the monitor that showed the other plane detonate.

“Kolivan, NOW.”

 

* * *

 

“Here, to calm the nerves.”

Lance handed Shiro a cup of tea. Shiro took it and smiled gratefully.

It had been almost two weeks since Keith had ceased communication with the Paladins. When Coran tried to contact the Blade of Marmora, they gave him a vague answer about Keith being too preoccupied to respond to any of the messages that they left for him. They found it odd that even after they mentioned that Shiro needed help, Keith still remained silent. 

“Do you think he’s in danger?” Shiro asked.

The rest of the team let the question linger in the air, no one wanting to commit to a response. The entire time, they had simply assumed that Keith was avoiding them ever since Shiro was able to return as the Black Paladin. They glanced at each other nervously as the guilt consumed them. 

“Let’s hope not,” Allura offered.

Suddenly, Coran rushed into the Castle lounge, clearly in a flurry. 

“What’s wrong?” Hunk asked.

“It’s Keith.”

“Keith?” Shiro piped up hopefully.

“He broke contact with Marmora about an hour ago.”

Shiro felt his heart sink to his stomach. 

“For the last two weeks, he was on an undercover mission with Lotor at Proditor. They were investigating an intelligence leak. Tonera was monitoring their movements, but they cut off contact. She’s been trying to re-establish the connection for the past hour. She suspects that they broke their communication devices.”

“Why would they do that?” Pidge asked.

“There are two likely reasons -- they got caught and had their communication devices broken by the Galra, or they did it to avoid getting tracked.” 

“Say it’s the second reason. Where could they possibly be going?” Hunk asked.

“There are just too many options.”   
“Proditor… Proditor… Why does that planet sound so familiar?” Shiro wondered out loud.

“We’ve been there for a coalition performance. It’s the one right next to Beta Traz.”

Shiro’s eyes widened. He managed to register the people around him speaking but all he heard was muffled noise drowned out by the beating of his own heart. He felt the blood in in his face drain and his whole being started convulsing. The cup of half-drunk tea slipped through his fingers and fell with a resounding  _ clink _ against the floor.

“Isn’t that the--” Lance started before he noticed Shiro shaking.

He went over to Shiro’s side and offered him his hands. Shiro took them and gave them a squeeze as Lance tried to talk him down. Finally, his breathing steadied and he let go of Lance’s hands. 

“We have to go,” Shiro’s voice cracked.

“We don’t know if he’s really there, Shiro. If he isn’t, we’d be giving up Voltron for nothing,” Allura reasoned.

“I know that.”

“And you’d be willing to risk that for the possibility of saving Keith? You’d be willing to place the fate of the entire universe on the balance for one person?”

“The universe can burn if Keith isn’t in it.”

Allura took a deep breath.

“Then lead us to Beta Traz, Black Paladin.”

 

* * *

 

Keith watched as the guard blocking their route left the vicinity, then cocked his head to the side. Lotor took a quick scan of the area, then scrambled over to where Keith was. Keith and Lotor stayed together to get to the control room of the facility while Kolivan stalked a few steps behind them as back-up. They had gotten past the first few concentric zones and they were soon headed for the heart.

The control room was both empty and unguarded, which struck Keith as odd. His want to get the necessary information and get the hell out of dodge as soon as he possibly could helped to push the suspicions out of his mind. He bit his lip as he placed his hand on the palm reader. 

Please, he thought, please let them not have registered my handprint.

The scanner warmed up, then the door opened with a click. He glanced at Lotor who immediately understood what he didn’t say.

“It’ll be fine. We can handle anything in there,” Lotor whispered.

Keith walked into the room, followed by Lotor. They took one computer each, immediately working on breaking into the system. As Keith manually typed out commands, he mentally ran through the steps that Regris taught him -- exploit vulnerabilities, use backdoors if possible, and if all else fails, use brute force. 

Keith scanned the information on the screen, looking for any signs of input from Proditor. The log was full of lines and lines of information irrelevant to his search. He found a few pages that matched the data that he found going out of Proditor’s systems, but nothing far more than that. If there was any encrypted data that Proditor managed to hide, it was likely that Beta Traz managed to hide as well. 

Suddenly, he saw a line that stuck out like a sore thumb.  _ Prisoner:  _ _ 117-9875. _

“Lotor, are captive and fugitive prisoners classified as the same thing?”

“No. Captive prisoners are just labelled as “prisoners”. Fugitive prisoners will have “fugitive” in their ID.”

“There has to be a mistake.”

“Beta Traz doesn’t make mistakes. What’s wrong, Keith?” Lotor looked over at Keith’s screen.

“That’s… That’s Shiro’s prisoner ID.”

Lotor clenched his jaw.

“That means he’s still captive. Move aside, let me work with it.”

Keith stepped to the side, making way for Lotor to take over. He couldn’t help but feel impressed that Lotor managed to get into the root in less than a minute. He rechecked the prisoner log from the administrator account to make sure that it hadn’t been tampered with just before they arrived. Any such data would have implied that the guards were already expecting them. He stared at the offending line, rereading it for the tenth time. He swallowed hard.

“He’s really here,” Keith breathed.

“I guess he is. Let’s gather the intel, hand it over to Kolivan, then look for him, okay?”

Keith nodded.

Lotor plugged in the flash drive he was carrying into the computer, then set it to download all of the data that he selected. Keith did the same. Keith double-checked to see that he had all the necessary information, then turned to Lotor. Lotor took a quick scan of the display and pulled out the flash drive. He walked over and handed it to Keith.  

“Shut down the surveillance, then get this to Kolivan. I’ll head to his cell first.”

Keith stood there stunned as he watched Lotor walk away. Before Lotor sprinted off, he hissed at him.

“LOTOR.”

“What is it?”

“Be careful.”

Lotor nodded quickly and took off, leaving Keith alone in the room. Keith did as he was told and disabled the security cameras. He waited two ticks after that before leaving the room himself. Hiding in the cover of the shadows, he hoped that he wouldn’t get caught by any guards that were patrolling the area. 

Kolivan was amazing at hiding, but Keith eventually found him. He handed over the flash drive and was about to head to where they suspected Shiro was being held at when Kolivan caught his arm. Against his will, Kolivan dragged Keith towards the escape route leading to their ship. Keith struggled out of his grip, but Kolivan easily overpowered him. Soon, they were right at the exit.

“Keith, I don’t have a good feeling about this. What if it’s a trap?”

“Then, I would be closer to the truth.”

“Or death. Keith, don’t do this. Not again.”

“I swore an oath to him. I told him that I’d save him as many times as it takes.”

“What if the man aboard the Castle of Lions is the real Shiro? What then? How do you think he’s going to take it?”

“It’s not Shiro. I don’t know if the person that’s here right now is the real Shiro, but the one at the Castle is not.”

“How do you know for sure?”

Keith smiled sadly. He closed his eyes, then twisted himself out of Kolivan’s hands. He opened the exit latch and kicked Kolivan through it. He watched as Kolivan’s oxygen mask automatically detected the atmospheric pressure difference and activated itself. Even without seeing Kolivan’s face, he knew that he was looking back at him with disappointment. 

“I guess I don’t,” he muttered as he headed to the maximum security cell. 

When Keith ran into Lotor again, Lotor had already attached an explosive to the lock of the door and was backing away to avoid receiving the worst of the impact. Seeing that, Keith quickly hid behind a nearby wall to shield himself. 

Then, he heard the explosive go off. The sirens started blaring and the clattering footsteps of the guards were getting louder. Keith emerged from behind the wall and made eye contact with Lotor.

“Are you ready?” Lotor’s brows were knitted.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Keith stood beside Lotor, inhaled, then exhaled. He looked at Lotor one last time and nodded. Then, they both lifted a leg each and kicked the door in. 

When Shiro returned with a shaggy new hairstyle, Keith remembered being so overwhelmed with relief that he ignored the red flags. There were many things that he knew to be true about Shiro, many things that the Shiro that came back to him wasn’t at all. He tried to reason with himself that it was trauma that changed Shiro, but deep down he always knew the truth. It was only confirmed to him when he spend the night with Shiro, and Shiro asked him who the ring on his finger belonged to. He just couldn’t accept the possibility that Shiro didn’t remember that he proposed to Keith the night before the Kerberos mission launch. 

The door swung inwards and Keith felt like the past few months flashed before him. All the times that he fantasised about finding Shiro tied up somewhere, all the times that he considered confronting the alternate, culminated to that one moment that he stood at the entrance of the cell and was faced with an empty room. 

 

* * *

 

The other paladins were already in their lions. Shiro stood in front of the Black Lion, trying to collect his thoughts. He slipped on his helmet but made no move forward.

“Shiro, are you ready?” Hunk asked.

“I’ve been thinking and I don’t think any of you should be calling me that. At least, not after this mission. I don’t think that I’m really… Well, Shiro.”

“We’ll discuss new names later. Can I say something, though?” Pidge asked.

“Go ahead.”

“Whether you’re really Shiro or not, Shiro would have wanted this.”

“I appreciate that. Okay, let’s go.”

He stepped towards the Black Lion, making an effort to steady his torrential anxiety. He climbed into the cockpit and sat silently in the dim light. He took a deep breath and whispered.

“Please trust me at least one more time.” 

 

* * *

 

“Where is he?”

“I… I don’t understand…”

“WHERE IS HE?” Keith roared.

“Keith, I don’t know.”

Keith walked around the room, slapping the walls as if he was hoping that any of the panels would open up to reveal Shiro hidden behind them. He stomped around trying to check for any signs that there was a hollow right beneath them. Finally, in frustration, he tossed his blade and watched as it hit the wall, then fell to the floor with a click. 

“I never ask for anything!” Keith yelled at the walls, “I’ve been let down so many times that I stopped expecting anything to turn out the way I want it to.”

“Keith…”

“I just wanted Shiro to be safe. I just wanted Shiro to be with me. Was that really too much to ask?” Keith gasped as his tears streamed down his face, “I just wanted this one thing.”

“Keith, we’ll find him. It’s all going to work out.”

“No, it’s not.”

“How do you know that?”

Before Keith could answer, a crack formed down the middle of the floor. Soon, the concrete was collapsing beneath them, and they fell right into the entrance of the tunnel. Lotor’s expression darkened at the realisation that he knew exactly where they were headed.

“Keith, stop yourself from falling. We need to climb upwards. This tunnel is headed for an airlock.”

“What?”

“Just do it, or we’ll both die!”

Luckily, his blade fell with them and he caught it mid air, then drove it into the wall of the tunnel. Right as Lotor slipped past him, he caught his arm. Hanging just by the sturdy luxite blade, Keith couldn’t help but start to worry about their dire situation.

The blade was starting to tilt, no longer stuck fast. 

“Lotor?”

“Keith?”

“It was an honour to fight beside you.”

“Likewise.”

It didn’t happen all at once. They weren’t caught by surprise. As the blade tilted further downwards, they fully expected it to come dislodge, leaving them to resume their journey down to their ends. There were many decisions in their lives that they would have chosen to change if they could, but the opportunity wasn’t in the cards that they were dealt. 

Even then, in such circumstances, they were grateful that they got to choose their final words.

 

* * *

 

Beta Traz was in Shiro’s line of sight and uncertainty washed over him. Now that they were close to where Keith supposedly was, he wasn’t sure how help him. That is, if he even needed help. Allura was right — what if he was elsewhere and they were effectively giving up Voltron? Could Shiro really bear the responsibility of the wrecking the tiny chance that the rest of the universe had against the Galra Empire? 

Suddenly, he spotted two masked figures wearing the Blade of Marmora uniform fly out of the airlock. He immediately recognised the builds that were distinctly different from the other Marmorites. One of them was about Kolivan’s height, but he was much slimmer. The other was shorter and slimmer. His breathing became shallow and loud, audible through the intercom.

“Shiro?” Lance asked, voice small, concern rising in his voice. 

He didn’t wait to answer. He positioned the Black Lion and went straight towards Keith and Lotor, scooping them up in her mouth. He ignored the other paladins yelling at him to get back to the Castle first. He climbed down to the mouth of the lion. He had to know if Keith was alright. 

Keith’s mask had already been deactivated by the time Shiro got to him, revealing his pale, almost-blue lips. He was completely limp and even through the gloves of his paladin armour, Shiro could feel how cold he was. He pressed his ear against Keith’s chest. His heart was still beating and he was still breathing, but it was so faint that he may as well be dead. 

“Keith… no…” Shiro felt his chest tighten.

Keith gasped as his head shot up. His lips turned from blue to pink, then almost-red, as the blood rushed back to his face. He turned to Shiro and stared in disbelief.

“Shiro… wait, you’re not… I mean, the real—” he choked out between heavy breaths.

Shiro was silent as he threaded his fingers through Keith’s hair, reassuringly.

“They knew we were coming. It was a trap!”

“No—” Lotor gasped as he regained consciousness.

“No?” Keith looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I checked the log. Shiro’s prisoner log has been there for the past year. If they changed it to trick us, there’s no reason why there wouldn’t be any change log in the past few months. He’s still in there. We just got the wrong room.”

“But that’s the maximum security cell! If it was important enough for them to make a clo—” Keith stopped himself before finishing his sentence. His voice softened, “Where else could he be?”

“They also expected us to find that cell and they rigged it, which means that they might have put him elsewhere for the time being.”

“I think you’re right,” Shiro mumbled.

Keith scanned Shiro’s face and his gaze turned tender, “You know?”

Shiro nodded solemnly. 

“Uh, guys?” Pidge’s voice streamed in through the communicator in Shiro’s helmet.

“Yes, Pidge?” Shiro answered and the muscles in his neck tightened. 

“There are two maximum security cells in Beta Traz. If you just went to one of them, there’s a chance that Shiro is in the other.”

“Oh, yeah! When we went there the last time, there was one for Slav and another for a er… a…” Lance trailed off.

“Let’s just call it a dog and move on,” Pidge cut him off.

Keith shot Lotor an expression that was a mix of pain and hope. They could try getting in one more time, but the last time had already taken a lot out of both of them. Lotor knitted his eyebrows, then looked up at Shiro, “What do you say, Paladin?”

“I’m going with you.”

Shiro helped Keith up to his feet, then went over to help Lotor. Then, they climbed up to the cockpit of the Black Lion. Shiro took the seat while the other two stood behind him. He reorientated the Black Lion and moved towards the entrance of Beta Traz.

The second they arrived, Lotor jumped into action. He climbed back down to the mouth of the lion. Keith was about to follow him when Shiro caught his arm. 

“Whatever happens next, I want you to know that I didn’t mean to deceive you.”

“I know, Ryou.”

“Ryou,” he chuckled, “I like that.”

“I can’t call you Shiro anymore, can I? It’d be too weird.”

Ryou pulled him closer, then released his arm. His hands went up Keith’s back and found their place at the edge of his jaw. He bend down and kissed Keith’s forehead.

“It was real for me.”

Keith pulled back a little, reached up to press his lips against Ryou’s, then broke off to whisper, “I know.”

They stared into each other’s eyes, neither wanting to let go. But they had a mission to complete. Everything else could wait. Keith stepped back, and Ryou released him. Hearts in each other’s hands, they went to where Lotor was waiting for them.

 

* * *

 

The guards were already on high-alert from their previous attempt and were already positioned at the entrance. Lotor drew his sword and started picking them off as he ran into the troops. In mere minutes, he cleared off most of the obstruction in their immediate path. 

They ran towards the second maximum security cell, with directions from Pidge. This time, they weren’t concerned about being found since the guards already knew they would be there, communicators detected or not. Another wave of guards came, then another, then another. By the fifth wave, Keith looked so pale and weak that Ryou was afraid that he might pass out any minute. He held onto Keith’s waist, hoping that his strength would hold up at least until he got to see Shiro again. 

“Stay with me, buddy. We’re almost there.”

Keith let out a low whine. Even running on pure adrenaline wasn’t enough to keep him going. He knew that he was reaching his limit.

“Ryou, if I don’t make it—”

“You will make it,” Ryou interrupted.

“If I don’t—” Keith wheezed.

“Don’t even say it, okay? You will make it. You will meet Shiro again. Don’t even—”

“Please... tell him that I love him and I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For not keeping my promise. I said as many times as it takes.”

Ryou opened his mouth to say something but the words escaped him. All he did was exhale. He had to admit that his heart ached to hear Keith proclaim his devotion to someone else, even if that someone else was technically the same person he was. Keith loved Shiro, not him. He was an idiot to ever believe otherwise.

“I’ll… I’ll tell him,” Ryou’s voice cracked, “But you have to make a promise to me too.”

“What promise?”

“Promise me that you’ll try to stay alive as long as you possibly can. No more self-sacrifices, no more throwing yourself in harm’s way on purpose.”

“You know I can’t do that. You know how I am.”

“I know,” Ryou whispered, gritting his teeth as he fought back tears. 

Even if Keith had promised him, he knew that he would inevitably break it anyway. It was how Keith was built. It was the part of him that Ryou both loved and hated.

“Sorry to interrupt your moment, but the room you’re looking for is just another left-turn away,” Pidge said, “Purple door.”

Keith pulled himself away from Ryou and stumbled towards the door. He stared at it with awe and fear, tears pooling in his eyes.

“Please, let this be it,” he prayed.

Lotor stepped forward and clipped their last explosive to the lock of the door. After activating it, he turned around to pull Keith away and shield him from the impact. 

Smoke filled the air in the hallway. It would inevitably alert the remaining guards and initiate another wave of them to come running, but Keith didn’t care anymore. As the door swung open on its own, he caught sight of the surgical table that Shiro was strapped to. Instantly, he fell to his knees.

Ryou rushed to the surgical table and tried to take his pulse. Shiro was definitely alive, but he was probably heavily sedated. He felt around for any injuries and found nothing too debilitating. Slowly, he unstrapped Shiro from the table and pulled him off. Lotor quickly came over to help him. 

They were starting to hear footsteps approaching them. Now that they had an unconscious person to look after, their chances for successful escape dropped drastically. Keith went ahead first, now in slightly better shape than he was before. He was still weak, but he’d at least be able to shield them.

“...Keith…”

“Yes, Ryou?” Keith said without turning around.

“Keith, it wasn’t me,” Ryou replied.

Keith’s head snapped back, his eyes so wide that the whites around his irises were clearly visible. He closed the distance between himself and Shiro, gasping as his fingers grazed his cheek.

“Keith, it’s really you…” Shiro’s voice was brittle.

“It’s been so lo—”

Keith was cut off by the bullet flying right by his head, fortunately missing the rest of the party as well. He leapt at the guards, incensed that whoever shot at him could have easily hit Shiro. He pulled out his blade and activated it. Wielding it, the blade danced through the air as he took down guard after guard. 

When the final guard came, it escaped his notice. It wasn’t until they had their raygun charged up and aimed, that Keith realised where it was pointed. 

He ran into the line of the ray gun to shield Shiro. Suddenly, he was pushed out of the way. He tumbled onto the floor and hit his head. The world spun around him as the edges of his vision darkened, until finally, he went under. 

 

* * *

 

Keith’s head felt heavy as he awakened surrounded by blinding, white light. He groaned as he tried stretching out the knots in his neck and shoulders. His back was aching too, but it also wasn’t. The pain was distant, as if he knew that it existed but he wasn’t experiencing it himself. Where was he? It certainly wasn’t anywhere he’d been before.

He sat up to survey his surroundings. There was so much light that he couldn’t make out any other distinctive features. Even the ground that he laid on was white. He tried to stand up, thrown off by how the ground felt more like compressed air than solid. Weak-kneed and groggy, he kept going. Where he was going, he didn’t know.

Everything around him started to change. Shadows started to form and objects started to materialise. The further he walked, the more vivid everything appeared to be. Stone erupted, grass grew, trees sprouted. The leaves of the trees changed colours rapidly as they grew to their full size. It was as if he was witnessing years of changing seasons fast forward.

When he found himself at a crossroads, there was someone there waiting for him. He was about a head taller with broad shoulders and hair cropped short. He knew exactly who that was. 

“Dad?”

“Keith,” he said, turning around to face Keith, “You’re here… so soon.”

“Where am I?”

“Search inside of yourself and you will find your answer.”

“Why do you always have to be like this, Dad? Why could you never give me a real answer to anything? Why can’t you just tell me that I’m on my way to heav—” Keith’s eyes widened.

His father smiled back at him. It didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes were filled with so much remorse that it cut through Keith, threatening to tear his world apart. 

“I wanted to tell you everything,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “But there was just so much that you had to find out on your own to believe.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter what I believe now that I’m dead. Can you tell me everything now?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not your time yet.”

“What?”

“Take care of that boy you love, son. Don’t make the same mistake I did. I should never have let your mother go.”

“Dad, I don’t understand.”

“You will.”

Everything Keith could see burst into a kaleidoscope of colour, coming together, then pulling apart, edges frayed. The ground beneath him fell apart and he fell with it. Stable ground was only where his father was. He reached out, but his father didn’t take his hand. Instead, he turned his back to him and walked away. 

“Dad, come back.”

“Maybe one day you’ll understand that this is the hardest thing I’ve had to do.”

“Wait!”

“I love you, son.”

“Dad!”

Keith shuddered as he came to, life returning to his body. As he tried to steady his breathing, the fog obstructing his vision gradually faded. Slowly, his vision focussed and he only saw one person. He looked different — more of his hair was white now. But he was the same person that Keith had grown to love, the same person he would always love. 

“You’re awake,” Shiro gasped.

He felt pain at every single muscle he engaged as he sat up. He looked around and recognised the interior of the castle. 

“Lotor,” Keith’s voice was scratchy from lack of use.

“He’s back with the Blade of Marmora,” Shiro’s voice was sure but he definitely sounded confused. Keith’s apparently amicable relationship with Lotor eluded him, especially since Keith always had difficulties trusting new people.

“This… this is real? I’m not dead? You’re here. You’re real and… alive?”

“I’m afraid so,” Shiro laughed. 

He couldn’t help himself. Keith’s confusion was adorable. Then, he realised the gravity of his words — Keith had been searching for Shiro for so long that it was inconceivable that he finally found him. Suddenly, it wasn’t so cute anymore. 

“H-h-how? Someone… Someone pushed me away from shielding you.”

“That was Ryou.”

Keith squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself, “Shiro, there’s something you need to know. While you were gone…”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m here now.”

“Ryou and I—”

“Shhhh…” he rubbed soothing circles into Keith’s back, “It’s okay, Keith. I understand. I figured that certain lines may have gotten a little blurred while I was away. I mean, he told me to take care of you before he died.”

“Did he say anything else?”

Shiro took a deep breath, “He said that you really did mean it when you said ‘as many times as it takes’.”

Keith’s lips trembled. He swallowed hard. 

It just wasn’t fair. Ryou hadn’t chosen to be a clone, he simply was. Even when Keith knew for sure that he wasn’t Shiro, his feelings weren’t quelled. He had written it off as projection. But sitting next to Shiro now, he knew that projection wasn’t enough to explain how broken he felt.

“Shh… baby, it’s okay if you need to cry. Don’t hold anything back,” Shiro said as he kissed his hairline.

And so he cried, profusely. His hands were balled into fists filled with the fabric of Shiro’s shirt, his whole being shaking relentlessly. 

Shiro felt helpless as he watch Keith fall apart in his arms. All he could do was stay with him until he was ready to be put back together. 

“Shiro,” Keith sniffed, “I need to be sure of something.”

“What is it?”

Keith held up his right hand in front of Shiro’s face. His gaze was steely, but his red nose and lips exposed his vulnerability, “Do you remember what you gave me the night before the Kerberos mission?”

Shiro took Keith’s hand and rubbed it in his own. Then he raised it back to his lips to plant a kiss on Keith’s ring finger.

“I do.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading till the end! I would really appreciate it if you left kudos and comments!
> 
> Huge huge huge huge shout out to these people for helping me with this. I really struggled a lot with this fic and all your help has been very much appreciated!
> 
> \- Ally for beta-reading, editing, discussing changes with me and being a really supportive friend [theuniversalfiction on Ao3](http://archiveofourown.org/users/theuniversalfiction/works)  
> \- Majo for discussing ideas, suggesting and helping me decide on changes, and talking me through this really ahfioashfoias time while writing this  
> \- Dina for helping me with ideas and edits, and helping me pick the title [Holyangelheart on Ao3](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Holyangelheart/pseuds/Holyangelheart)  
> \- Honey for discussing ideas, reassuring me, and just being an awesome writer friend  
> \- Liz and Dylan for being some of my biggest cheerleaders and helping me with stuff along the way
> 
> I can't believe I'm finally done with this fic. I really couldn't have done it without all of your help;;
> 
> As usual, you can yell at me @stellar-parallax on tumblr!


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